Going through a separation or love breakup can be a very difficult and complex process, on a psychological and emotional level. It is something very common and frequent, which most of us have experienced, however we are not prepared to face this type of situation and it takes a sometimes slow and sometimes faster process for recovery. Everything will depend on the strength of those who experience it and their way of seeing life.
Some experience it as an even greater loss than losing a family member, and it generates emotions of sadness, loneliness, anguish, fear, anger and stress, especially when the decision to end the relationship does not come from us.
No matter how hard the experience, it will always represent the opportunity to overcome obstacles and give us strength as human beings, control emotions and obtain personal enrichment learning.
Tips for coping with a breakup
1- Avoid all types of contact with the ex-partner , it is recommended for a reasonable time to avoid all types of contact with the person from whom we separated, in order to mark distance and form the habit of not having him in our life. It is very common to fall into the temptation to write to the ex-partner or seek him out to ask for emotional support, but it is not convenient to do so, as time will indicate if a good friendship could emerge between the two later on.
2- Seeking support , whether professional or from our family environment and circle of friends, it is very important to have a support network that accompanies us in this recovery process, that listens to us, and advises us.
It usually happens that in the stage of falling in love we move away from our family and friends, so returning to these relationships with our loved ones will be beneficial and reconciling. A great idea would be to have some great glasses of Rioja wine with your group of friends or family and have a great time.
3- Writing the emotions and thoughts , can be very therapeutic and helps to drain the emotions, ask the questions that were left unanswered, the doubts and the reasons that led to the breakup. It would be an exercise like writing a farewell letter to the ex-partner, even if it is known that she will never read it, simply with the aim of expressing everything we wanted to say and did not do in due course.
4- Make changes , during a relationship it is common to accumulate photos, details of the couple, memories, gifts, objects as symbols of the love that at the time there was, but when going through the stage of rupture and overcoming, it would be advisable to move those away objects in our environment, little by little, that is to say without being in an abrupt way that generates more pain. You can make donations or save them, withdraw them to another place where they are not visible in our day to day.
We must let things flow according to how we feel or evolve, if we consider that it is better to throw them away and this will make us feel better, then let’s do it and that’s it, each one at their own pace.
5- Take care of your self-esteem , the experience of going through a breakup can bring out the worst and the best in ourselves, so we must be very attentive with our reactions, since if we notice that we are behaving in a very negative, depressive and not We stop blaming ourselves for the end of the relationship, we must take corrective action and help ourselves to overcome this grief and understand how valuable we are.
For this we must learn to respect and take care of ourselves, to understand that we deserve to be happy, love and be loved and if it did not work with that couple, then new and better opportunities will come, it is not the end of the world and we are not the first or the last. that go through a love breakup.
6- Create new habits , these types of situations allow us to make changes in our routine, which can be very beneficial and healthy, as well as they can give us the opportunity to meet new people. It is not easy to get rid of the habits and routines that we had with the ex-partner, but it is well worth the effort to get ahead.
We can incorporate sports activities, go to the gym, since sport will help us to secrete endorphins and this will make us feel a pleasant well-being with ourselves, reducing negative emotions. It is highly recommended to stay active and distracted to replace the time spent thinking about the ex. You can also pamper yourself and go to a place where you get aromatherapy massages , something like this will be very helpful.
7- Be understanding with emotions, allow yourself to release all the emotions that you have accumulated, if you want to cry do it, you need it and it is the only way to drain all the internal conflict that you carry inside, if you want to scream, scream, you must accept what you are for passing by and expressing your disgust and frustration, if that is what you feel, and do not judge yourself for it, you are a human being, with feelings and you must learn to live with them until the wound heals.
Do not fall into the mistake of trying to cover the pain of a separation with another couple, give yourself the necessary time to overcome it.
8- Respect the decisions, it may be that in a stage of depression or denial of the breakup we try to recover what we believe still belongs to us but please, do not fall into this error, it must be understood that if the decision came from the ex-partner, their reasons You will have to have done it, you must respect and have self-love, no matter how hard it may be, you have to let go of the bond that united us to that person and leave him free, because love cannot be a possession or something forced.
9- Take your time , you must understand that a break is not overcome from one day to the next, take your time, be patient and do not despair that everything will be fine.